Ladies, how many times have you freaked out about how your home looks? You make plans to have friends or family over, causing your anxiety to spike? Or how about someone shows up unannounced and you can’t stop apologizing for “my home being a mess”. Mama, I am right there with you (facepalm).
Why do you do this? What caused you to believe your home has to look like it came out of a catalog? For me, well … it started at grandma’s house. We would go full cleaning mode if people were coming over. It always felt as if we would be judged if the house wasn’t spotless. Ugh, I remember having to clean all day to make the house look as unlived in as possible … LOL. Did you have to do this also?
This craziness followed me all my life and I always cleaned my house from top to bottom when I invited friends over. God forbid someone showed up unannounced (which I am totally okay with because my home is always open to friends and family). Listen, my anxiety would go up 1,000% and I’d apologize repeatedly for “my house being such a mess” and “oh I told Jr to put his toys away” … yikes. Guilt for not being a better mom and housewife hit me and it quickly turned into an emotional rollercoaster until I’d finally recover and just enjoyed the company.
Confession, I haven’t had one of my closest friends over my house and yes … she gives me shit about it. In my defense, my house has been a work in progress, and I like to say it’s been “under construction”. The hubby and I have been doing our best to get the house updated for us and of course for when it’s time to sell (or rent). I absolutely feel like a terrible friend. This friend would never judge my home and I know that in my heart but this crazy need to present a perfect, unlived in home, has some deep roots. Can anyone relate to this madness or is it just me? Please tell me I am not the only one
Thankfully, I am doing better in this area. Now when things don’t get done, I don’t freak out. I realize tomorrow is another day and we will all be fine. There are some things I need to happen daily like:
– The dishwasher being loaded and started every night
– The kitchen being cleaned every night
– The bed being made every morning
I’ve had to let go of some things because they aren’t practical with my busy life:
– Mopping every night
– Laundry being put away every night (that basket will be ok sitting right there) LOL
Priorities have changed … self-care and family time have become more of the priority. Having fun with Jr before he goes to bed is a must. Eating dinner together as a family is such a blessing. I will speak more about these eventually. Now, lets chat about these home destroyers (haha).
Those of you with pets that shed … how do y’all deal? I have THREE dogs and they all shed (lucky we love them). Vacuuming and swifter pads are a daily task because these cute little jokers will leave extra dogs lying around the house. These three are my saving grace: my vacuum, robovac and Swiffer pads.
Now for those with kiddos … listen, we get it. Kids are messy and they will be REAL disrespectful with how they treat our homes. I am speaking from personal experience and from seeing my fellow mamas struggling with the madness. Kids are awesome and they should have space to play freely and all but OMG! How can one child cause such a mess? My son is four and you’d think I have about six kids running around my house with the messes he makes.
We have nurf guns and bullets everywhere, random dinosaurs attacking from all corners, trucks being rolled into doors and walls and more. Are you smiling and shaking your head because you can relate? Good!!!! Smile girl!!!! We are all under attack from our kids and toys and it’s perfectly fine. Enjoy the crazy while you can because they won’t be babies for long and you will miss this stage.
Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need.
~ Sarah Ban Breathnach
Are you ready for the best advice I have to offer on this subject? Let go of wanting to be perfect. Invite your friends and family over without feeling guilty your house looks like people live in it … you live there!! Give yourself grace as a mom and wife. Unfortunately the world puts pressures on us to be perfect mamas and wives and blah blah …. NONSENSE!
Your most valuable parenting skill is learning to manage yourself first.
~ Dr. Laura Markham
Claim being the badass wife, mom, and woman you are without the pressure. Your fellow mamas see you and all your beauty … you’re inspiring us and not even realizing it.
MAMA YOU ARE KILLIN’ IT …
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