Interracial Marriages are Beautiful

Thankfully in 1967, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of interracial marriages in the Loving v. Virginia case. What a win for all interracial marriages that followed. If you don’t know, Richard and Mildred Loving were married in Washington, DC but lived in Virginia. The state of Virginia deemed their marriage illegal since Richard was a White man and Mildred, a Black woman. They were arrested in the early hours on 11 July for violating Virginia’s anti-miscegenation law, which deemed interracial marriages a felony (history.com). It’s still crazy to me this was ever a thing.

It’s an interesting world we live in. I am an American woman with Afro-Cuban ancestry (my mother was born in Cuba) and am married to an American White man, with European and Nordic ancestry. In layman’s terms, I am a Black Hispanic and he’s a White man (as most see us). We have been married for 10 years and OMG have we heard and seen how nasty the world can be.

We met and married while stationed in Illinois. You would’ve thought we lived back in the 60’s with how bothered some folks were about us being together. Walking in the mall (especially) was always interesting … the looks, the whispers, the disrespect. I wish I was making it up.

We went to see my in laws in Kentucky one time and stopped to get some food. We walked in and the shock was written on everyone’s face. I wanted to leave immediately but David assured me we would be fine. We got our food, sat down and an older couple sitting near us wouldn’t stop staring and talking. David had a few words with them, and we left not long after. I was so annoyed and angry. However, there’s a huge generational gap here and I understood that … to a point.

Most of y’all reading this are probably thinking how awful those old white people must’ve been and how racist they were but let me be clear … I have received more backlash and racism from my Black and Hispanic communities than David ever has. Let me share a few experiences:

• An old middle school “friend” thought it wise to talk trash to me about being married to a White man on social media. He called me a few names and told me I was a “sell out” for who I married. This person also felt the need to remind me where I came from … that was my favorite part.
• Black men and women telling me I NEEDED to be with “my own” when they saw me with David in public.
• Black men walking right up to me asking, “why are you with this white boy, you don’t like your own people”? The nerve!! Ugh so damn gross!
• The shock of seeing pictures of me and my husband on my desk at work and commenting “oh you like them white boys” then asking, couldn’t you find a Black or Hispanic man?
• Being told by Black people that I only wanted to be with my White husband to have a fair skinned, light eyed baby … truly disgusting!!

I can go on and on sharing things people have said and continue to say. We are in 2023 and people are still bothered by interracial marriages. I can’t understand why! Why are people so bothered by something that has nothing to do with them?

My all time favorite comment has been that of my husband being called a racist, while married to me and raising my daughter (who is darker complected than I am). This stemmed from differing worldviews and politics. Doesn’t make it any less hurtful but it shows how far people will reach.

Want to know who is a closeted racist in your circle? Enter an interracial relationship. People will show their true colors. Some will make sly comments and others will be very forward with their words. And yes, this needs to be said … racism goes both ways!!! Like I shared above, I have heard more racist comments from Blacks and Hispanics than Whites. Nothing to be upset about … simply the truth!

It’s been a real learning experience being married to my husband and navigating our life together. My friends on social media heard this story when it happened but get this … a White man in my neighborhood had the nerve to ask me if I had stolen my son because of how fair skinned he is. Cue immediate anger and rise in blood pressure. The old Sharis (from NYC with the hoop earrings) almost came busting out of me but I had to control myself for my children. I was on a walk with my daughter and son and they didn’t need to see me act a fool.

But this is the nonsense, the ignorance still around these days. Marriage should be celebrated and considered beautiful no matter where the parties grew up, how they look, etc. It’s heartbreaking being at the receiving end of such criticisms! I used to get in my feelings and cry and go through some serious emotional changes but I had to learn (quickly) how to ignore the stupidity of others.

Anyone else experience this? Please share in the comments or message me! [email protected]